It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
