Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
