another moral hangover. fuck.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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