God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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