Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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