She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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