Where did you get a picture of my penis
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
