we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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