So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
