I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
