We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm really into asian looking animals
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
