I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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