so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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