she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize