Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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