and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
