when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
