help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
