I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
