i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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