youre lurking in front of me
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
