It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
