i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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