Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
