I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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