i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
