you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
