doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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