I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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