forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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