Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
