Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
FUCK WHALES
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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