i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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