I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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