The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
