Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
