Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
