she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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