My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
