Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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