He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The air was thick with penises
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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