I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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