I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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