I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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