wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
