First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
