ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
