oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he was CRYING into my vagina
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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