Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
