i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
