I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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