omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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