Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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