Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Randomize