what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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