Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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